Please, this is just random.

Assalamua'laikum wbt..

School,work and Eid.

School was fun to me. At one point, my heart jumped out of joy on the night before the school started. I looked forward to see my friends, my teachers, to talk about things, and sometimes think about new books and lessons. Packed up my bags. Found my socks and shoes. Ironing the school uniforms. Hanging them out of the cupboard. School was fun!

Working has not always been fun. But for some reason, I'm looking forward for tomorrow, working again after 2 days off. No special person, some random friends and patients and doctors. Perhaps new problems to be solved. I don't know. But tonight, I feel my heart jumps out of joy, thinking about tomorrow. It almost feel like going to school tomorrow :)

Probably due to Eid. I don't know.

Half a dozen.

The other place seems nice. Some other place seems nicer. But I still have 6 months to go, insya Allah. Enough time to think, right? Enough time to train, right? For whatever the reason is, I have to choose.

I wonder. If you feel the same way.

A model.

It felt as if I met a advertisement model today. You know, the ones that we always see on TV. Tall, perfect complexion, Pan-Asia look like, desirable features. A matching make up, baju kurung and hand bag, modern hairdo. I wonder if I'd be who I am now if I was in her place. Indeed, that is a huge test in life. Not to fall into the traps of dunya.... I'm all beaten up already.

Fix you.

Adni brings a smile to my face. Whether she cries or laughs or giggles or occasionally screams, I'd be moved in a pleasant way. And I guess, there must be a moment in someone's life where I moved that person's heart the way Adni moved mine. Perhaps it was 20+ years ago. It didn't matter. Adni fixed me.

Tired.

It's kinda tiring getting older but never seems to grow up anyways. Trying to erase the memories and thoughts away. Running will never solve anything, but solving the problem itself seems a struggle. I still haven't found a way of doing it successfully. Too many perhaps, seems like false hopes.

Y.A.I
I think, he said that, " We live our lives forgetting the unforgivable". I wonder if there is such a word. But I feel sorry for him. I live my life forgiving the unforgettable. In return, I hope others would forgive me too. We sometimes close the doors for others to enter, just because we think some other might have closed their doors due to what we have done to them. Funny.



I guess everyone is different. Perhaps this post beats the objective of the blog in the first place, to be beneficial to others. But, please excuse my eager to jot down what I feel tonight. This is just a piece of my mind. Well. gotta hit the sack. It's late.

Wassalam.

p/s : This was a draft I wrote when I had done my 6 months of PRP training.  Was not married. Was still a PRP. Didn't even thought that I'd be meeting my dear husband even though I've known him for about 9 years by then. Geez. Why was I excited about going to work? I must have been really having a good mood. hehe. Alhamdulillah for everything :)

I miss you..

Assalamua'laikum wbt...


             In the happiness of being married to the dear person I love, I still, very much miss... my old friends and the craziness we went through together. I dearly miss all of you and pray to Allah that He keeps you guys safe and sound.

          Dear friends. I miss our singletons time, even though I'd never want to change my status now. I miss each and everyone of you. Please keep me in your memories and prayers. I love you all :)
          

Peringatan untuk diri sendiri : Jadilah Mat Takwa, bukan Mat Fatwa

Assalamua'laikum wbt....


        Lama Imah mencari cari satu entry yang Imah kira pernah mengetuk pintu hati dan minda dalam melihat kekurangan diri. Ia pernah menjengah, perasaan 'takut' itu pernah wujud. Insaf walau sesaat. Akhirnya selepas menghabiskan masa yang agak lama going through blog Blog Kereta Mayat , Imah memutuskan nak letak link dia kat sini supaya insya Allah, next time bila Imah rasa perlu mengingatkan diri Imah lagi, x payah lah Imah menghabiskan masa mencari entry itu lagi.
       So, entry nya boleh di baca di link ini.



Semoga bermanfaat kepada semua, insya Allah. Wasaalam

Kau Suamiku yang Kumuliakan

Assalamua'laikum wbt....


First post ever since....

1) Re posted at Hospital Setiu
2) Now re posted again to Bahagian Perkhidmatan Farmasi, Jabatan Kesihatan Negeri Terengganu
3) And of course, getting married..

As always, tittle dalam bahasa Melayu. End up writing in jumbled up Malay English.

               " Semoga masuk syurga". Ucap suamiku sambil mengusap ubun ubunku pada awal perkahwinanku. Aku hampir menangis mendengarnya. Dalam hati, aku ingin mengaminkan doa suamiku yang tercinta. Pada masa yang sama, aku bertanya layakkah aku?

                "Isteri yang (akan) masuk syurga"...ujar suamiku  sebelum tersenyum dan pergi ke masjid terdekat menaiki motornya. Aku tersenyum pahit. Aku tahu aku tidak layak. Namun aku benar benar berharap semoga Allah menjadikan kata katanya suatu kenyataan di akhirat nanti.

               Dan sudah beberapa kali beliau menyebut nyebut akan hal ini. Dan setiap kali, aku bertanya kepada diri, layakkah aku?
                 
            Aku bukanlah isteri terbaik, aku tahu. Aku bukan sempurna. Tetapi dia redha menerima kelemahanku. Kami masih sama sama belajar.....tentang satu sama lain. Tetapi lebih mengejutkan algi, aku belajar tentang diriku daripadanya..betapa kurangnya sabar dalam hatiku berbanding dirinya. Betapa angkuhnya aku memandang orang lain menyusahkan aku tanpa memandang kesusahan mereka. Tidak kusangka, akhirnya mazmumah menghiasi diri. Dan sehingga kini, aku masih belajar lagi.

              Suamiku bukanlah seorang yang berjawatan tinggi. Beliau bukanlah seorang yang digolongkan sebagai ahli professional. Beliau bukan guru. Beliau bukan ustaz. Beliau bukanlah seorang bergaji besar. Tetapi setiap bulan masih mampu memberi nafkah kepadaku walau hakikatnya aku tidak memerlukan nafkah darinya.Tetapi aku selalu mengingatkan diri, walau sebesar mana gaji seorang isteri, pahalanya bekerja tidak akan menyamai besarnya pahala seorang suami bekerja. Walau setinggi mana jawatan isteri, seorang isteri langsung tidak layak memandang rendah dan mengingkari perintah suaminya. Aku sedar itu. Aku masih sedar, alhamdulillah..

            Sepanjang tempoh perkahwinan kami, kata maaf lebih banyak yang datang darinya berbanding aku, isterinya. Aku tahu, Allah telah mengurniakan lelaki yang sangat bernilai dalam kehidupanku. Dan aku tahu, syaitan sentiasa mencari peluang merosakkan medan amal ini. Semoga Allah bantu kami.

          Wahai suamiku, engkau suami yang aku muliakan. Perjalanan ini masih jauh. Moga Allah bantu kita. Kau yang kusanjungi, kucintai. Bantulah aku mencapai redha Tuhan sekelian alam.


Wassalam.