School,work and Eid.
School was fun to me. At one point, my heart jumped out of joy on the night before the school started. I looked forward to see my friends, my teachers, to talk about things, and sometimes think about new books and lessons. Packed up my bags. Found my socks and shoes. Ironing the school uniforms. Hanging them out of the cupboard. School was fun!
Working has not always been fun. But for some reason, I'm looking forward for tomorrow, working again after 2 days off. No special person, some random friends and patients and doctors. Perhaps new problems to be solved. I don't know. But tonight, I feel my heart jumps out of joy, thinking about tomorrow. It almost feel like going to school tomorrow :)
Probably due to Eid. I don't know.
Half a dozen.
The other place seems nice. Some other place seems nicer. But I still have 6 months to go, insya Allah. Enough time to think, right? Enough time to train, right? For whatever the reason is, I have to choose.
I wonder. If you feel the same way.
It felt as if I met a advertisement model today. You know, the ones that we always see on TV. Tall, perfect complexion, Pan-Asia look like, desirable features. A matching make up, baju kurung and hand bag, modern hairdo. I wonder if I'd be who I am now if I was in her place. Indeed, that is a huge test in life. Not to fall into the traps of dunya.... I'm all beaten up already.
Adni brings a smile to my face. Whether she cries or laughs or giggles or occasionally screams, I'd be moved in a pleasant way. And I guess, there must be a moment in someone's life where I moved that person's heart the way Adni moved mine. Perhaps it was 20+ years ago. It didn't matter. Adni fixed me.
It's kinda tiring getting older but never seems to grow up anyways. Trying to erase the memories and thoughts away. Running will never solve anything, but solving the problem itself seems a struggle. I still haven't found a way of doing it successfully. Too many perhaps, seems like false hopes.
I think, he said that, " We live our lives forgetting the unforgivable". I wonder if there is such a word. But I feel sorry for him. I live my life forgiving the unforgettable. In return, I hope others would forgive me too. We sometimes close the doors for others to enter, just because we think some other might have closed their doors due to what we have done to them. Funny.
I guess everyone is different. Perhaps this post beats the objective of the blog in the first place, to be beneficial to others. But, please excuse my eager to jot down what I feel tonight. This is just a piece of my mind. Well. gotta hit the sack. It's late.
p/s : This was a draft I wrote when I had done my 6 months of PRP training. Was not married. Was still a PRP. Didn't even thought that I'd be meeting my dear husband even though I've known him for about 9 years by then. Geez. Why was I excited about going to work? I must have been really having a good mood. hehe. Alhamdulillah for everything :)